Virtuous friendships work toward ‘the ultimate good,’ Father Vance says

Father Nick Vance, parochial vicar at Our Lady of Grace in Edina, has spent time reflecting on what makes friendship truly virtuous and how friendship can mirror Jesus’ example. Virtuous friendships are especially important not just to increase happiness but also to grow in faith, Father Vance suggested to “Practicing Catholic” co-hosts Leah Heselton and Father Tom Margevicius during a segment of the show set to air at 9 p.m. July 24 on Relevant Radio 1330 AM. Drawing from teachings from St. Thomas Aquinas and Aristotle, Father Vance said “friendship is, at the heart of it, it’s willing and working for the same good … the good of the other person.” “(A)ccording to Aquinas, to have a true friendship, we actually both have to have our eyes set on the good,” Father Vance said, adding that “there can be a disconnect in friendship if we realize that we’re actually not on the same page.” Meanwhile, Aristotle outlined different types of friendship, Father Vance said, such as “friendships based in utility, friendships based in pleasure, and then true virtuous friendships.” Friendships based in utility might develop when one person can offer something to another and vice versa — a mutually beneficial friendship — while friendships based in pleasure might revolve around a shared activity that is enjoyable, Father Vance said. Virtuous friendship, Father Vance said, develops when friends “work for the same good, the good of the other person, and indeed the ultimate good, which is union with God and communion with (our) brothers and sisters.” Virtuous friendship also reflects the relationship between Jesus and God the Father, as expressed in the Gospels — “the incarnation of Jesus makes friendship with God not only possible, but even desirable,” Father Vance said. He went on to say that “by virtue of divine adoption, by virtue of what happens to us in our baptism … there is now something divine in me so that I can actually experience this friendship with God, and it’s purely a gift on his part.” “Jesus is my savior, he’s my teacher, he’s my master, but only he could start that conversation of, ‘I have called you friends’” (Jn 15:15), Father Vance said. To hear more from Father Vance about developing and maintaining virtuous friendships, listen to this episode of “Practicing Catholic,” which repeats at 1 p.m. July 25 and 2 p.m. July 26. Produced by Relevant Radio and the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, the latest show also includes an interview with Luke Currier, parishioner of St. Paul in Ham Lake, about his faith journey. Listen to interviews after they have aired at practicingcatholicshow.com or choose a streaming platform at Spotify for Podcasters.