Breathing Room: How Are You Pursuing Happiness?

[NB: check the byline, thanks. /~Rayne] This is a semi-open post and thread. By semi I mean I want to try something different here and NOT TALK ABOUT THE ORANGE BAWBAG AT ALL. Nope, nada, nil. This post is about you. Tell us what you are doing to survive, with an emphasis on what you are doing to bring yourself and others joy. Survival isn’t just putting food on the table or keeping a roof over your head. It’s having a reason to keep on keeping on. Joy and pleasure and happiness are why we fight, after all. This nation’s founders felt it was an essential reason for signing their own death warrant, saying, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. …” No matter the administration, no matter the climate, no matter all other conditions, we should continue to pursue our happiness. It may not be the big, glorious excess decked with bells and whistles; it may not come with accolades and applause from an adoring audience. Our happiness may be small, bite sized, extremely personal and intimate. But what is that joy you are chasing each day? I’ve told you before about my personal situation. It hasn’t changed; I’m still spending half of my time in Florida caring for my mom whose dementia is worsening along with her disposition. It can be suffocating at times – many of you reading this have experienced this and you know well what toll caretaking places on your body, mind, and soul. But I am still chasing my personal goals, the things that give me pleasure and a sense of achievement. I am continuing to go to school though remotely. I am doing art as time and conditions permit. My eyes are peeled for new opportunities which fit my current limitations. This is what keeps me sane, glues my shit together every day. Surprisingly, it’s one of the few things my mother doesn’t crab about. She seems pleased that I’m painting even if it clutters her porch a bit. Perhaps continuing to do art brings her a little pleasure, too; it certainly gives us more to talk about if sometimes the subject is repeated as her memory worsens. If I can do this, I’m sure you can, too. I’m certain many of you have been engaged in pleasurable pursuits making others happy as well. So spill here: what are you doing in the pursuit of happiness? Once again, no orange bawbag allowed in this thread. I will spike comments that don’t comply. This thread is about you, it’s about us. We need this because it’s on this we’ll build the future. ADDER: No discussion about Sen. Lindsey Graham, either. Again, this is about you, about us. Nice thread! In addition to it being good advice, I really enjoy staying active. Along with everyday tasks (shopping, yard work) playing pickleball and walking with my wife make me happy. Although I am retired, I am fortunate that I could choose to continue doing a few of the fun things from work. Sharing my time, money, and expertise with others makes me happy. Interacting with intelligent others, even virtually, such as places like Emptywheel, makes me happy. And sometimes I amuse myself. Oh, and I enjoy hearing a good joke. Here’s one I heard recently. Sometimes we don’t know people as well as we think we do. There’s a dentist who lives down the street from us who was just arrested for dealing drugs. I’ve been going to him for 12 years, and I was shocked to hear he was a dentist. What is the molar of the story? An electrician and his apprentice worked a long day at giant McMansion, and at the end of the day he handed an invoice for $3,400 to the owner. The owner said, “I’m a neurosurgeon and I don’t make $3,400 a day” and the electrician said “I didn’t either back when I was a neurosurgeon”. Staying active is definitely a good thing. Getting out in the fresh air, smelling flowers, experiencing green or blue spaces. Also, helping others is really good. And a good joke probably adds a few minutes to one’s lifespan so here’s one I heard recently: While Michelangelo was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel…. One day, he looked down from the scaffolding to see a solitary old woman kneeling in a pew, praying. Since the woman could not see him, Michelangelo decided to have a little fun, and he called out, “I am Jesus Christ, hear me!” The woman did not look up, and continued praying. So, Michelangelo said, even louder, “I am Jesus Christ, Son of God, obey me!” Still the woman did not budge. So, Michelangelo shouted at the top of his lungs, “I am Jesus Christ, hear my word!” The old woman finally turned to look up, and held up her rosary, saying, “Shut up! I’m talking to your mother!” I look for joy in some things that are purely for me, like making art and working alone in my garden. But also in ways that create and celebrate community, by being of service in various ways. Cooking meals to take to my local Love Fridge, watching the kids from the local day care stop and talk about my garden on their walks through the neighborhood, taking the time to chat with some of the Venezuelan women I have gotten to know as they ask for money to feed their kids outside the local grocery store. Looking forward to doing some wheat pasting with a friend, a simple flyer with the sandwich throwing guy and the message Resist! I think it will be fun and perhaps more useful than it might seem. I try to stay in gratitude that the horrors we are living through hasn’t much impacted me personally, while also trying to raise awareness, especially of younger family members, that the biggest lesson I learned living under a military dictatorship (Brasil, 1971) was how quickly it becomes normalized. I’m writing and recording songs for a self released CD I hope to have completed next year in time for my 70th. Some love songs, some political songs, all influenced by 60’s music and current Power Pop. So glad to hear that you are doing art work, Rayne. I don’t have that skill but have always appreciated it in others, including my mother and former college roommates. Speaking of former roommates, I took an old box of letters (very old) from a shelf in a closet and started looking at them. I was quite moved by some of them. There was even one from my father to his parents. He wrote to them about how my brothers and I were doing in school. It was a side of him that surprised me. I think the damn heat dome finally left today. It’s still very hot, but not quite so brutal because I think the traditional afternoon pop-up showers may have finally returned to cool things off a bit. During the worst of the heat dome I had been providing indoor shelter to one of the feral cats who appeared right after my mom passed. He’s an old man now and his siblings are gone. He prefers to be outside but he and I have a rapport, so he has come to appreciate our mutual trust. Bonding with a feral (or urban-feral) cat can bring more joy than you might ever expect. The last time I did this, with the grizzled and crippled (two good legs left) tom who had spent a summer protecting a doomed litter of kittens under my becalmed CRV, it felt like falling in love. I had to trick that old guy into letting me trap him. He wasn’t going to survive otherwise, and I wanted to give him a break. He lived with me another six years, indoors and without complaint. One of the best companions ever. Right now, in this moment, enjoying vacation in Brittany – the only part of France that isn’t suffering from extreme heat. Spending time – mostly around the table – with my wife’s family. (Conversation occasionally turns to the hideous orange one, and I plead to change the subject.) Ideal beach conditions make up the difference. Something about the water here makes it more buoyant, so you can just lie on your back and drift aimlessly. There’s a great concept here: “l’apéritif dinatoire”, which is casual enough not to be a full dinner but still stretches over 3-4 hours with drinks and hearty nibbles. With night falling at 10:30 pm it’s easy to get disoriented. Next year, like last year, we’ll host kiddos and their families. This year we are free agents. I have dinner on the front screened porch with my husband most nights – even in the winter when additional layers are able to make it possible. We are fortunate to have a few wooded acres surrounding us despite being located in a rapidly developing coastal area. I have been finding happiness, as we dine, watch the lightning bugs rise from our lawn (which is basically weeds and such – mowed occasionally to a uniform height). It takes me back to the carefree evenings of my childhood. The quiet moments of watching them calms the thoughts and helps clear the dross of anything associated with “that one” and associates…and the thoughts and concerns of my elder mother’s presently good state of being, living several states away. And as “thesmokies” said….Emptywheel provides solace and feeds my head. Thanks to all. Pursing happiness as if it is quarry? Never computed for me. Getting lost in something I enjoy, much more relevant to me. “It is a strange thing to think and to say, that the purpose of our lives is either to reproduce the species, or to continue the family, or to serve mankind, or to serve God. This is all wrong. To what purpose do we reproduce our species? To what end might we serve mankind? And what should those people who we serve do? To serve God? He can do all He needs to do without our help. And He does not need anything. Even if He orders us to serve him, it is only for our own sake, for our own good. Life cannot have any purpose other than joy and goodness. Only this purpose – joy – is ultimately worthy of life.” Tolstoy’s diary of October 1, 1892 You can reach joy, I’ve found, just by stopping and taking a deep breath. What makes me happy? Lots of things. And they can be simple things, like seeing two ducks wandering around the carpark of my local Tesco this morning, quacking happily about whatever it is ducks have to be happy about. Don’t chase happiness; let it happen around you. That’s very John Cage. Or Zen. Or something like that. Be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is. Don’t waste energy trying to find something unattainable. Which is not saying just give up on politics but don’t let it take over your lives. Giving and getting affection from our cat, esp. rubbing his belly and playing with his toe beans. The best part is he enjoys it. Listening to music. Watching FIFA. I have never watched soccer until now. I thought I’d be bored with the low scoring but once I accepted that limitation I enjoy it and appreciate the skill and teamwork. Watching FIFA replays to hear Andres Cantor. GOOOOOL! This one is the best I’ve heard so far: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9Qo_ymStK8 Fixing stuff. I enjoy the challenge of figuring out what’s broken and how to fix it. Can be frustrating but it is rewarding to keep something running instead of throwing it away. Youtube has been a lifesaver. I recently fixed our wall air conditioner and lawnmower. Yardwork/gardening. Long bike rides. Keeping my bike maintained. Amen on the fixing stuff and long bike rides. A similar experience here in pursuit of happiness and joy. I recently decided I want to dedicate free time towards volunteering to connect people with enjoying the outdoors. Perhaps even starting a charity, in the long run, to make that happen. And at that same time the universe has aligned to put me in touch with an organization that does charity bike repairs. Cycling and bike repairs are a hobby I already enjoy. And the organization is coincidentally planning to expand their bike repair operations. And I get to be part of that expansion. So, volunteering to fix bikes is my pursuit of happiness and joy. ‘rubbing his belly and playing with his toe beans’ My cat would have my hand off if I even tried to touch her belly. As our vet said recently, she knows her own mind. She’s an old girl now (17 going on 18) but she makes me happy despite (because of?) her crankiness. I was gifted an excellent Leslie 147 and the very rare Leslie pre-amp, which I connected to my Nord C2. Now I can practice and keep my eyes on the doggie, and pre-empt whatever atrocity she is planning. It keeps me offa the web, anyway, and my wife does not want me riding motorcycles any more. Oh, did I mention I am reading “Iran, A Modern History” by Abbas Amanat? 900 pages of belly laughs and sentimental reminisces, about equilateral relations, scrupulously adhered to by Western powers. And internal relations, too; Iran seems to be a country at odds with its own diversity. Perfect summer reading. ahhh. to cut down on screen time, i now start my day sitting with a cuppa coffee and a book watching the world awaken. walk/hike 4-5 days a week. get together with my good friend every other week for cocktails and a catch up. go to my local bar/restaurant once or twice a week for a meal at the rail and get the latest gossip. work oe creative writing projects. hang out with my new 15-year old kitty roommate. current goal is to clean out my music room to be able to actually get to my piano and re-start my playing. and movies in a real theatre! just saw “the invite” and loved it. directed (and co-starring) Olivia Wilde. Penelope Cruz crushes it. one couple invites the other over for dinner, and much ensues… also highly recommend the new documentary on music producer (and one half of Peter & Gordon) Peter Asher now in limited release. fantastic footage of James Taylor, Linda Ronstadt, Paul McCartney and on… “re-start my playing.” I’m trying the same thing after some serious seizures some months ago. The Hammond organ is anyway, a lot easier than playing the piano. This pursuit that you [we] pursue here is the happiest I’ve read about in a LOOOONG while! Thank You, Rayne! I am making recordings of my surroundings while I am still able to. Whether it will be dementia or the other thing that gets me housebound and down, I want to leave something behind. These recordings are special and bring me joy as they are designed to do. They are particularly good for folks who don’t or can’t go out and about as much as is good for them. When you put mini microphones in your ear canals and record them in stereo then when you play it back on headphones your brain will not know if it is happening for real or not. Like 3D glasses for your ears. When you close your eyes it is remarkable enough to be like a hearing transplant. Your brain does all the 3D surround sound. I learned of this when I was 17 and got my first dummy head mic. I am 70 now so I have a lifetime of memories to preserve. I add some slideshow pics from various trips and interests and share on the YouTube. This is not something I am monetizing or anything like that. One of my doctors thought that this would be good for some of her bedridden patients. So I will capture some sunny afternoon memories by the shore with the birds and the breeze and the squirrels and the trees. That sounds like fun. Have you considered going to the next level by recording 3D video? When I read that section of the Declaration of Independence I am always reminded that Jefferson was a self-described follower of Epicurus, the Greek philosopher associated with happiness. Most probably why Jefferson included the ideal/right of happiness in the Declaration. https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-e&hs=V2ZV&sca_esv=3411e0dcc18d8ddc&q=epicurus+and+happiness&oq=epicurus+and+happiness&aqs=heirloom-srp..0l5 My happiness is seeing my grandchildren discover life in a way I would never see. Watching the life cycle of my orchids orchids and other plants. Reading an interesting response to a posting in Emptywheel or watching Ed’s process of discovery. Reading in general and the process of discovery. A nice long walk. The miracle of photography. Rewatching Casablanca for the umpteenth time. Yogurt of the correct consistency. These are a few of my favorite things….. What I’m finding pleasure, or happiness, in lately is reading Jane Austen and reading about Jane Austen. I love a bit of Austen. Oddly enough, as a former inhabitant of the conurbation known, although not generally approved of, as Birmingham, I have a great admiration for this particular intimation of Mrs Austen: ‘They came from Birmingham, which is not a place to promise much, you know, Mr. Weston. One has not great hopes from Birmingham. I always say there is something direful in the sound.’ I cook — for myself and dear friends, new recipes when I can, just to mix things up. I write, still trying to stretch my skills after all these years. I revel in my firecracker bushes and the butterflies who love them, and really, all the plants and wildlife here in the southern Appalachians. And the extraordinary year it is for peaches, sweet, juicy delights. I read, most recently “Land,” by Maggie O’Farrell, author of “Hamnet,” about the tragedy, beauty and mystery of Ireland, a wonderful book. On to Arundhati Roy’s memoir of her mother and her childhood in India, and streaming more “Drops of God,” a fascinating dramatic series about parents and grown children and wine. All in all, a fine summer, if damn hot and humid. Great topic! Self care for the win. Today we hiked among the beautiful & fragrant wildflowers of Albion Basin in the Wasatch Mountains. Then Sunday brunch at the 85 year old Alta Lodge, where the Chef has been there for 40 years. An all day staycation feast for the senses 🤌 Not pursuing it, directly at least, right now. I used to, but kept tripping over myself for years of failure, until at some point I started thinking about why that was not working. Finally working through some past traumas and undiagnosed neurodivergence flavoring and building a structure–well, more like an aspirational lattice–that can carry the weight of those and give me room to maneuver. Then maybe I can think about happiness. Pro tip: don’t arrive at existentialism before puberty. Birdwatching, walking, watching my brothers’ grandkids play baseball and softball and giving them advice based on my 4 years of co-ed softball on my company’s team. I retired from co-ed softball when I tried to stop a grounder with my foot. I knew it was time to hang up the sneakers and give away my glove. Well done, EW folks! For me, currently… Re-reading Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel Listening to music, mostly metal (plug for the s/t Lex Legion album, a strong release from a bunch of still-kickin’ NWOBHM guys) & hard rock, plus some blues, jazz & classical. Writing and playing music, practicing my scales & modes. No band project at the moment—moving out of the city has made that difficult for a 65-year-old. Just bought a new guitar, which has been getting a lot of action. Exercise: Free weights, elliptical, yoga, boot camp calisthenics, hiking. Watching The Man in the High Castle, which I missed the first time ’round (the cast is GREAT!) Watching the Tour de (CHAUD!) France every day (first well-deserved rest day is tomorrow) Hangin’ with my wife and the cats Feeding the local birds, squirrels, & rabbits Cooking lotsa good stuff—Chinese Noodles with Tofu, soy & scallions tonight (bowl o’ Rainier Cherries for dessert Bit of the ol’ cerveza, bit of the legal cannabis That’s about it. I took violine lessons from age 7 to age 18, and continued playing in small orchestras till age 25. Then the jobs for earning a living took too much time, and I discontinued making music. I had a period of playing again with a colleague who was a very good pianist in my early 40s. Unfortunately he moved to a different place, and I stopped again. After retirement, a made another attempt of playing, but unfortunately an illness of several weeks foiled my good intentions. So I decided, if I hadn’t the time to play every day at least for half an hour, playing the violine would belong to my past and not my present — until I learned from a good friend of mine that playing an instrument just for the joy and with no ambition, it may suffice to play just for 10 to 15 minutes daily. So I grabbed my dear violine, let a violine maker have a look at it (and do some repair), and began for a third time after the first break at age 25. That was last summer. And what can I say? I was struck by the body memory, do the exercises and easy pieces I played as a nine- or ten-year old, the ten minutes a day often extend to 30 minutes or even more, and I find much joy in it. I’m recently retired and my wife and I moved to central Virginia to be close to her mom and dad, who are both 93. That has been great and has helped take some of the load off my wife’s sister in looking after them. I’m keeping active with kung fu, tai chi, indoor rowing (on a Concept 2 rower) and lots of hiking and walking. Lately, at the suggestion of friend from college, I’ve started using the iNaturalist app to document and learn about local flora and fauna. I also use the Audubon app to record bird sightings. I’ve always liked to cook and now my wife is cooking more too, often to bring meals to her mom and dad. Kitchen is a bit too small for both of us at the same time, but I’m happy to assist her as needed. We spend time with our four cats and two birds. We frequently see live music in small local venues. We visit local breweries and a local market (which is also a food and music venue and the heart of a wonderful local community). There’s a lot to enjoy here and we are taking advantage of the opportunities. This weekend, our little community held a (weather delayed) 4th of July potluck outing. My wife made vegan chili and the offerings were very much vegan and vegetarian friendly … so much so that nobody brought any meat dishes at all. Cheers! Veganism is helping keep me and Mrs. X healthy, while saving farmed animals with every bite. Plant-based B12 supplements are a small price to pay. My career is also in animal advocacy, but my work can’t hold a candle to that feeling! Self-care . . . I’ve had nagging knee issues around tendons and ligaments for years, and am finally talking to an orthopedist to find some knee therapy exercises to deal with it. Relationship care . . . My work keeps me crazy busy, with unpredictable hours and all kinds of (very legitimate) demands on my time and energy. (I recently had to do a funeral on my birthday, which took up the better part of the day.) To bring things more into balance, Mrs Dr Peterr and I are taking one of those vacations that isn’t about seeing stuff or taking in sights as much as it is about spending time with each other as we do those things. Also wine tasting. Fun stuff . . . I have been a huge soccer fan going back to junior high school. We didn’t have school sponsored or community league soccer teams back then, but we had a bunch of classmates from overseas, whose parents were graduate students at the local university and had brought their kids with them. Early on, I became a goalie, and it has always been a blast for me. As a tourist in England in the late 70s, I brought home a pair of “Beckenbauer Super” boots (cleats), and my love for the Beautiful Game only grew in my time as an exchange student in (West) Germany. I have been making time to watch as many of the World Cup matches as possible, and also really revelled in the way that KC has embraced the folks from the Netherlands, Argentina, England, and Algeria who made metro KC their home bases. When a local KC pitmaster opened up his restaurant to a couple of Argentinian pitmasters, to enjoy one another’s BBQ, it is a glimpse of heaven. I just finished my voter protection training for the michigan primary. I’m guessing I will have new training for the election in November. They keep updating the training. This time I had to take a test. I passed. Phew. I will help monitor in Detroit. That has been my go to for fighting back for the last several years. And it makes me happy! And right now I’m in chicago listening to the cicadas. I always thought cicadas meant fall. I guess I was always wrong. Are you working elections? If so, a big thank you to you and everyone else doing that. I grew up listening to the cicadas in Chicago. I’m told you can deduce the temperature from their cadence, so I associate them with summer, peak summer into August. Your cicada associations may vary! (When we lived in NC I was too young to notice things like that.) I embrace happiness when it comes upon me, like when I’m with the children in my family and they’re in the mood for a hug or two, but I don’t pursue it. Life has taught me that happiness is a fleeting thing, chasing it is exhausting, and not finding it is depressing. I settle for being mostly content most of the time, keeping that even keel that makes me feel safe. I am an old guy (83) and have not yet figured out what I will do when I grow up. So, I stay on the same treadmill I have been on for years—mostly reading, researching, and writing in the federal tax procedure area. I am in the process of trying to finish the 2026 editions of my Federal Tax Procedure Book (Student and Practitioner), both available on SSRN with the 2026 editions being published in early August 2026 (in time for the Fall Semester). That process is eating my lunch as I try to eliminate bloat, particularly in the footnotes in the Practitioner Edition. Fortunately, I have family coming soon to our home in Charlottesville and then (after publication on SSRN) we go to Houston to sell our home there. Then, I must make the annual decision as to whether I get back on the aforementioned treadmill. One thing I will do when in Houston in August is to do something like an exit talk to a tax group that I have been affiliated with for years, the Wednesday Tax Forum (that has met on Tuesday since I first joined in about 1979). In a way, it will be a swan song for my affiliation with the WTF that has meant so much to me over the years. I just won’t be coming to Houston for the in-person events (about 10-11 times a year). We had a spell during Covid that I and others could attend via Zoom. Those days are past, and I am shut out in Charlottesville. So, my appearance at the August meeting will likely be my last in-person appearance. I still must decide what I will do when I grow up. So, to answer the question of what I am doing in pursuit of happiness. I don’t know. But I am having satisfaction if not fun in the conventional sense (as I imagine it). Reading, researching, and writing–especially the latter–have given my life its core meaning since almost before I can recall. If I’m writing, I’m okay with myself. If I’m okay with myself, the joy comes naturally. Discovering that Lewis Carroll wrote nonsense poems besides Jabberwocky. The Mad Gardener’s Song He thought he saw an Elephant, That practised on a fife: He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife. “At length I realise,” he said, “The bitterness of Life!” He thought he saw a Buffalo Upon the chimney-piece: He looked again, and found it was His Sister’s Husband’s Niece. “Unless you leave this house,” he said, “I’ll send for the Police!” He thought he saw a Rattlesnake That questioned him in Greek: He looked again, and found it was The Middle of Next Week. “The one thing I regret,” he said, “Is that it cannot speak!” He thought he saw a Banker’s Clerk Descending from the bus: He looked again, and found it was A Hippopotamus. “If this should stay to dine,” he said, “There won’t be much for us!” He thought he saw a Kangaroo That worked a coffee-mill: He looked again, and found it was A Vegetable-Pill. “Were I to swallow this,” he said, “I should be very ill!” He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four That stood beside his bed: He looked again, and found it was A Bear without a Head. “Poor thing,” he said, “poor silly thing! It’s waiting to be fed!” He thought he saw an Albatross That fluttered round the lamp: He looked again, and found it was A Penny-Postage-Stamp. “You’d best be getting home,” he said: “The nights are very damp!” He thought he saw a Garden-Door That opened with a key: He looked again, and found it was A double Rule of Three: “And all its mystery,” he said, “Is clear as day to me!” He thought he saw an Argument That proved he was the Pope He looked again, and found it was A Bar of Mottled Soap. “A fact so dread,” he faintly said, “Extinguishes all hope!” Nice! He brings up the Rule of Three (“What I tell you three times is true.”) in one of my favorites: “The Hunting of the Snark”. I programmed (hardware and software) for a living. Never felt like work. Now I’m retired, I program for fun. My latest project just so happens to be about us, the EmptyWheel community, so I’m happy to share it here. I find it helpful, and I hope you might also. I’ve written a browser extension that tracks EmptyWheel posts and comments and makes them easy to navigate. Comments you haven’t seen yet are highlighted, and you can jump quickly to other posts. It only works for FireFox currently. If you want to try it, it’s on AMO (https:// addons.mozilla.org – remove space). Enter EmptyWheel in the “Find add-ons” search box. Usual warnings about unknown software apply (it did go through the AMO vetting process). Feedback is welcome. Writing and performing songs, perfecting my pottery skills (such as they are) painting, babysitting my grandkids… My spouse and I just spent two weeks in New England with college roommates from the late ‘70s, and I get giddy all over again just writing this sentence! Among other things, we attended Wilco and Billy Bragg jointly performing a concert of “Mermaid Avenue” songs for the first (only?) time ever. It was one of the happiest nights of my life. There are some great stories presented on this thread as well as a number of the activities mentioned from indulging in the World Cup to starting The Man in the High Castle. While I do not deserve to live in this timeline, I am having a fantastic time embracing the rhythms this life offers. When I was in high school, there was a summer carnival every year and it is where I rode the greatest ride ever called The Zipper. That ride shows up every year during the Laramie Jubilee Days festival. So in some ways the best of my youth is still occurring and I enjoy those things that happen annually as the years go by. I spoke to my business partner for the first time in 3 years and we discussed Ai and specifically Claude and how to use it. During that 4 hour call, his wife asked how life was going? I truthfully responded that I could die now as every question I had as a child about evolution, the Bible and why we are here has been answered for me and I will not need God’s help in the afterlife. In fact, I said, every day brings some new understanding about the world around me and I am damn happy for that fact. She congratulated me on my journey. With that said, I am off to walk the dogs early before the heat dome bakes the place and in a different timeline I would listen to music or a pleasant podcast, instead I will listen to my right wing radio DJ deny climate science and denigrate Democrats. Be well and have a happy day. “Tell us what you are doing to survive, with an emphasis on what you are doing to bring yourself and others joy.” I don’t know how much joy I may be bringing, but I am trying to avoid bringing any negativity. I write and photograph, as I have been doing since I was a teen, and share my writings and photos in various appropriate places. I run a Substack site and I won’t get into the weeds here about all the details, but if you want to go there and see, please do. My Chicago neighborhood has a hell of a lot of flowers blooming this year; I take photos of those on my daily walks and post them on Facebook. A decent flower photo is always a slam-dunk, like a sunrise or a sunset. People like seeing these things. Though I’m not Catholic, I have on my desk here in front of me a copy of the “Prayer of St. Francis” that my cousin sent me last year. Most mornings I read it. It functions as a bit of a gyroscope for me, keeping me balanced in heart and mind. My high school graduating class is having its 50th anniversary reunion later this year. Though I won’t be able to attend, the organizers have set up a Facebook page. I reviewed my archives, pulled out all the old photos that I took of my classmates, have scanned them to JPEGs, and am sharing them on that Facebook page. My classmates have expressed their happiness at seeing all these old photographs . Around the house, I try always to keep a civil tongue in my head. A married union is not a thing to be taken for granted. “Husband” is a noun and a verb. It’s just a matter of trying to be decent, not taking people and things for granted. As one of my favorite writers recently wrote, “It’s not rocket science to be nice to a person.” (Kim Chinquee, in “Pulcifer.”) I like hearing how other people are managing magnificently. I garden; however, I haven’t been gardening well since caring for my mother before her death. This year, I have been trying to regain my stamina. There have been many obstacles, and I haven’t been able to put out a wheelbarrow of deliciousness for my neighbors. I have, though, come to terms that the deer and bunnies are my neighbors, too, and they are being fed. Also, in going slower than usual, I now am in a position to start a fall garden, which was my big hope for the year. So the eggplant never got planted? Well, now there is space for cooler crops. The garden helps me see the bright spots. How can I turn this around? I tried to bring others joy for years, and like a bird set upon by cats, was put down but not dead. When mother died, I was free to go. Now, sometimes giddy, I smile at random times. I both read and write poetry, which, paraphrasing Elizabeth Bishop, is that useless concentration that is required to appreciate and create art. To combat the simmering anxiety, I like to: •Exercise (works like magic) •Work a shift at my local cat sanctuary (those cats are some of my best friends) •Goof around on guitar/pedal steel/Dobro (the endless possibilities of music are spellbinding) •Spend time with my wife’s family in South Korea (this reminds me that USA is not “The World”) Hope you all are taking care of yourselves. For happiness, I take my four-year-old rescue to the dog park. She’s an English Pointer who is afraid of loud noises like fire crackers. She loves to run as much as I love watching her race with her friends. We adopted her from the local animal shelter — she had been there for about eight months, had been fostered then adopted, then returned to the shelter. She takes so much joy in being with me and my husband, meeting up with her peeps at the dog park, racing around like a wild thing, meeting new people. She makes me smile every time I look at her. Nice thread Rayne. I have been pursuing creative ventures: writing 2 books on dementia and developing an App for dementia caregivers. In my mid 70’s and enjoying life with my family and wife of 52 10/12 years.