Help! I Don’t Like My Church’s Music

My husband pastors a Bible church in an area dominated by mainline denominations that often retain traditional worship styles while drifting from historic Christianity. We often receive new members from these churches who rightly—though sometimes reluctantly—chose to prioritize scriptural faithfulness over their favorite musical styles. Many faithful Christians are committed to churches they love, even if they don’t always care for the music. They join and stay because the preaching is biblical, the doctrine is sound, and the community is Christ-centered. Because music engages our affections, though, it can be painful when we don’t love our church’s music. But we’re all called to sing and to lift our voices in wholehearted worship, regardless of the style. Assuming the lyrics are biblical, when we don’t immediately or constantly like our church’s music, we need to commit to participation, preparation, and perseverance. In doing so, we can go beyond musical style to more deeply grasp the heart of worship. Participation We tend to withdraw when we don’t like something. I confess I’ve stood with crossed arms and a clamped jaw because I didn’t like a church’s music. Looking back, I would have found more joy if I’d thrown myself into the singing. After all, Scripture calls us to sing together (Eph. 5:19), so we might as well do so enthusiastically. Whether or not we consider ourselves worship leaders, we can all model humble, joyful singing—on the platform or in the pews. In my experience, musicians often struggle the most with musical worship. Trained to listen critically, they may struggle to embrace different styles or enjoy the offerings of volunteers in place of professional performances. However, as I heard someone say recently, if you can’t get out of it, get into it. Musicians often struggle the most with musical worship. If you’re musically gifted, strive to replace cynicism with service. Audition for the praise band or join the choir. Use your excellent ear to help the audio team. It’s much harder to criticize others when you’re laboring alongside them—when you see firsthand the diligence and devotion they put into their musical offerings. It’s also much easier to cherish a ministry you’re directly supporting. If volunteering musically isn’t an option, get creative. Bring refreshments to fuel musicians through early-morning warm-ups. Pray for your worship leaders throughout the week. Set a reminder to pray for leaders and volunteers during rehearsals. Make a point of encouraging your worship leader, listening carefully with the intention of offering specific, genuine praise. Preparation Our favorite songs and styles tend to be those we’re most familiar with. If you don’t like your church’s music, it’s worth considering whether this dislike is simply the discomfort of unfamiliarity. As a classically trained pianist and organist, I decided early on that I disliked contemporary worship music. But as I grew more comfortable with new-to-me songs and styles, I learned my taste isn’t static. Becoming familiar with new music is sure to be a lengthy process if we only listen on Sundays, but our era of streaming provides ready access to a wealth of musical diversity. Rather than simply streaming our favorite music, we should take advantage of this technology to listen to the songs our church uses frequently. This approach seems counterintuitive. Headphones and personalized playlists condition us to treat music as a matter of individual preference. However, Scripture is clear that music is meant to knit us together (Eph. 5:19–21; Col. 3:16–17). Especially in the church, music isn’t primarily about individual consumption but communal participation. Just as musicians practice pieces they don’t love to prepare for rehearsals and recitals, we should listen to our church’s music to prepare for congregational worship. Perseverance Most of us have the freedom (and, arguably, the burden) of choosing between multiple healthy local churches. But we must exercise that freedom wisely. If we’re considering leaving a church because of its music, we must ruthlessly examine our hearts to determine whether we’re looking for a church where we can engage in fruitful service or simply one where we can enjoy our favorite songs. If we decide to leave after a season of prayerful discernment, we must take care to “go in peace and serve the Lord,” as the liturgical benediction says. This means we must depart peaceably—not sowing division in our wake—and with the intention of serving the Lord, not just our preferences. For musicians, a decision to leave a church might be motivated by a desire to serve. For example, a skilled organist might consider joining a congregation that can use her gifts rather than staying in a church that only uses guitars, just as a talented drummer may find his gifts better suited to a more contemporary congregation. Our favorite songs and styles tend to be those we’re most familiar with. Most often, though, it’s worth persevering unless there’s a biblical precedent for leaving or the Lord opens a clear opportunity to serve him elsewhere. Ultimately, whatever our church’s musical style, we should pray for our own hearts before we enter the sanctuary each Sunday. We habitually ask the Lord to help us follow our leaders with humility and energy and, in this, be a gift to them and those around us. Whether on or off the platform, we can make up our minds to support our church’s worship—not to change the music but to be changed through selfless singing. Read more from Ryanne Molinari in her new book, Spirit-Filled Singing: Bearing Fruit as We Worship Together (Crossway, 2025). Free eBook by Tim Keller: ‘The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness’ Imagine a life where you don’t feel inadequate, easily offended, desperate to prove yourself, or endlessly preoccupied with how you look to others. Imagine relishing, not resenting, the success of others. Living this way isn’t far-fetched. It’s actually guaranteed to believers, as they learn to receive God’s approval, rather than striving to earn it. In Tim Keller’s short ebook, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The Path To True Christian Joy, he explains how to overcome the toxic tendencies of our age一not by diluting biblical truth or denying our differences一but by rooting our identity in Christ. TGC is offering this Keller resource for free, so you can discover the “blessed rest” that only self-forgetfulness brings.